Hiatus

Hi.

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Guess who’s back? Back again. After almost a month I’m back on the interwebs with lots to share. The last couple of weeks have been difficult for me - growing pains meets quarter life crises PLUS mercury retrograde communication breakdowns. I usually love my birthday but this year turning 25 has me feeling some typa way. I have been criticizing myself endlessly rather than basking in all that I have accomplished throughout the first half of my twenties. When I started having these feelings, I decided to go back to therapy seeking to confront my anxiety about the future coupled with my tendency to hold on too tightly to my past.

So why the hiatus??

After running this account for 2+ years I had never taken a break. Skipping a day to post on my feed or missing a recipe deadline would throw me into a state of panic. Not getting enough “likes” or posting something that didn’t “FIT” with my grid aesthetic would leave me feeling embarassed, with no other choice except to delete the post. And don’t get me wrong I really love you humans, but scrolling through my dash I’d sometimes find myself wondering, “why don’t MY photos look like that?” “why are my legs not as skinny as hers?” “why do they have more followers than me?” I had fallen into the social media trap and completely forgotten why I started this account in the first place. This break allowed me to work on living in the moment, creating beautiful and meaningful memories without the pressure of always sharing on social media. To throw my “phone eats first” mentality out the window. To begin to develop strategies I can rely on when I’m feeling triggered. To be courageous and embrace those difficult conversations. To discover the confidence to stop comparing myself to others and to show myself compassion.

Looking back, 24 was truly incredible. While I still experienced challenges and bittersweet endings, my year was filled with new beginnings and plenty of adventures. In September I started a new job and in January I signed my lease on my first apartment in Brooklyn! In February, someone incredible walked into my life and he’s been making my heart so full every day since. I explored Denver in November and spent Thanksgiving drinking champagne and eating tostones and guacamole with my mama in Puerto Rico. I headed to LA for Expo West in March and in May, I went camping for the first time and flew to Chicago twice. Last month, I finally got to visit The Hampton’s and went to South Carolina to celebrate my parents purchase of our second home!

As I enter into my next lap around the sun a lot has changed. But rather than list what I want those changes to be, I’ll just say this… I’m allowing this platform and my life in general to be a honest expression of me and I’m so happy to have you along for the ride.

Peep my August Moodboard to see what I’ve been up to!

XOXO, NFM